What is the most unfair advantage a person can have?

Nurturing parents.

Conventional wisdom suggests that the first few years of one’s life are the most important. These are the formative years and they make us who we are. Because of this parents play a huge role in our habits, character, and ultimately our destiny. While certainly money is important for happiness, I wanted to emphasize other things necessary for well-being.

Recently I’ve been thinking about this a lot after reading the practitioners’ manual for Schema Therapy by Dr. Jeffrey Young. Anyway, in a nutshell, the theory posits that as people, especially as children there are things we need and if these needs aren’t met, we grow up incredibly mal-adjusted and if we get these things, well that’s when we grow to be incredibly happy and able to solve our own problems efficiently. (Sorry I know I am not doing the theory justice) In a way, it’s like Maslow’s pyramid, but more on a clinical level. These needs are: Safety, Stability, Nurturing, Attention, Acceptance, Praise, Empathy, Guidance, Protection, Validation of Feelings & Needs, Enforced Limits, etc Notice that I didn’t put Love as a need because the above needs together constitute love. These things are more important to a child than a new pair of Nikes or a Sony PS3. As for wealth, I know a lot of rich parents who are really damaging their children with money as a substitute for genuine affection. This is not to say money isn’t important, but above a certain amount, there are other more important factors.

Now you take some parents who really really have their child’s best interest at heart, not using their kid to fulfill unfulfilled aspirations or trying to live the child’s life for them, parents who read to their kids every night and cook them nutritious meals instead of throwing them INR 800 for a pizza, parents who are continually improving themselves mentally, physically, who are rational and logical and considerate and compassionate without forcing religion on their child, parents who realize that who we are is: our conditioning and our indoctrination which provide the child with every means to think for him or herself, IMO these parents, such parents are the most unfair advantage a person can have.