How to overcome imposter syndrome?
Wikipedia defines imposter syndrome as “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’”. If that sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Many people have this feeling, regardless of their experience or seniority including VPs at Facebook and Dropbox.
And the reality is, that even though many of us feel this way, it often goes undiscussed. We internalize our fear and push on hoping to not be discovered. Perhaps we can start a trend that as part of ‘vocally self-critical’ we can practice transparency in our skepticism of ourselves and find colleagues we can trust to share our doubts.
My Story
Everyone feels like an imposter at some point. This has been a consistent pattern throughout my life from getting accepted to an Ivy League university, cracking an interview, public speaking, participating in a boxing match in front of a big crowd, getting promoted, even in fact sharing this article and so on.
“How and why am I the person to be doing this? I’ve done only xx. It’s not a big deal.”
“Why are people taking me seriously?”
“Maybe I got lucky and fluked into the position of where I am?”
“There’s attention on me and what the hell do I do with it?”
Most recently, at work when I was promoted to Senior Software Development Engineer, the self-doubt quickly emerged. I was skeptical I could live up to the standards of my peers. I was worried that folks would find out I was an imposter and maybe they’d demote me. I was comfortable performing as an SDE II in my team with high ownership, but I was torn out of my comfort zone and didn’t think that I would make it.
I have come to a point where I embrace the fact that I have this feeling. This means I am growing! If I am not feeling uncomfortable about putting myself out there, there must be something wrong and it is time for introspection.
Ask for help
It took me a couple of months after being promoted to realize I couldn’t get over my fear alone. After meeting with my mentors, I was reassured when they shared about their imposter syndrome and to learn from them the ways they’ve worked through it. If you feel stuck in your fear and imposter syndrome, seek out people you trust and can give you the tools to build your confidence. When I was doing an internal transfer to join the parent Shipping Offers and Data team, I shared how I needed his help to build that confidence. While it was scary being transparent while I was discussing the potential transfer with my senior manager, I’ve found a lot of value in discussing this with my manager to get his insight and help in areas to grow.
Keep learning
Through my own journey in dealing with this, I’ve discovered how important it is to have a growth mindset and always learn and be curious. It gives me permission to admit when I don’t know something and transparent with areas I need to improve. But I don’t stop at just admitting. I also take the time to dig into areas that I want to learn and areas I want to improve. When I started color-coding my calendar this year, I added a label for ‘learn and be curious’ to make sure I spent work hours every week learning.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others can be a root cause for feeling like an imposter. When you see others doing something in a way you don’t know-how, you find yourself feeling bad and having negative self-talk. Instead, start by focusing on your strengths and superpowers. There are a lot of things that I’m not good at (perhaps a future blog?) — some of which I want to actively improve and others I’m okay with not being good at. I’m not an expert at typography, but I’m okay enough to make a good presentation and I work with enough experts in this I could leverage when the work comes up. Instead, I focus on my superpowers and am grateful for all of those out there who make up for the areas I’m not good at.
These are my tips for overcoming imposter syndrome:
- You’re not alone. Everyone feels like an imposter at some point.
- Sometimes it just takes time and practice to reduce feeling like an imposter.
- It’s okay to ask for help.
- Find your allies and be transparent with them.
- Be transparent with your manager and work with them to build up your confidence.
- Don’t. Stop. Learning.
- Instead of comparing yourself to others, lean into your superpowers.
Derek Sivers explains this brilliantly in his article Obvious to you. Amazing to others, which made me think about how much I have to share with others. One of the reasons I started putting my thoughts on medium.
Now it’s your turn. How have you worked through imposter syndrome? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.
