First step towards healing the inner child
My earliest memories have always eluded me. Maybe it does for all of us. Went I visited my parent’s home a couple of months back, I sat with my mom and discussed my earliest days. My first memory is vivid yet simple: crawling on a red carpet, the walls painted a calming shade of blue, a steel cup catching the light, and my mother, adorned in a blue saree, a figure of warmth and safety. Another fragment that often visits me is sitting on the hood of a white car, feeling the metal beneath me, and walking back home from my kindergarten class, and for some reason the grip of someone like my parent is missing. I want to go more deep into this particular memory but will hold off for another article as I have not processed it yet. Reflecting on these memories, I realize these random snapshots of the past, is who I am. As a child, I was filled with curiosity, wonder, and love around me. I like to believe my curiosity and wanting to connect still exists.
Off late, I have been reflecting on my parents’ roles in shaping who I am. Imagining them as children themselves, with their own stories of hurt and healing, has been transformative. Especially my dad’s childhood in Kolar, his village, the conditions of his upbringing and resources that were given. Same with my mum and her background growing up in south Bangalore in a large family short of resources and a strong patriarchal iron fist that existed in her childhood. It has allowed me to see them not just as my own caregivers but as individuals who were doing their best with the wounds they carried. This realization prompted me to forgive and release the hurt and resentment I might have held.
These thoughts have occurred recently especially since the Yoga classes that I recently resumed. The breath work helps me to connect for this exercise. We all have this inner child in us that has not left us. We are obscured by life’s trials and day to day complexities. Constant reminders to process these emotions might help us heal some of those remaining childhood trauma that we have. Or maybe the reason we avoid it altogether is because it spikes our negative emotions. Worth confronting reality here.
